hello

Well hello there my friends,

You might be pleased to know that this crazy chest virus that I’ve been having for over 4 weeks is FINALLY on its way out. Was talking to an old friend to mine earlier today and realised that I’ve pretty much been ill 8 weeks out of the last 16 – which isn’t like me at all!

Anyway, I figured that due to the way the holiday days fell between Christmas and NYE, my new year would come into effect 5th January, and it kind of did.

Last week I started off with organising my life as much as I could (think planning, budgeting, making a start at creating new habits etc) but since I was still feeling weak and had a pretty bad cough, the plan was to get back into the whole fitness thing today… but it hasn’t really gone to plan.

thumbs down for me!
If I have learnt anything these last few years, it’s that you should let your body rest when it needs to rest, otherwise you’ll just end up taking forever to get better, or even worse, you get injured.

So taking my own advise, I have been a good girl and listened to my body and not done any exercise for over a month now because I didn’t want to start the year feeling like shit or with an injury (to be fair, only last week I was getting a bit dizzy and sweaty just from walking to the train station, so it was a good call…).

HOWEVER, fast forward a week and I am feeling much better! So much better in fact that I could have gone to the gym today (as planned!) and been fine.

But instead I snoozed all my alarms in the morning and gave up on going after work because I finished 1.5 hour later than usual and I just couldn’t face going to totally full gym with loads of newbies on my first time back since forever.

Of course now, 2 hours later, I’m regretting my lazy decision and I have made the grand plan of going tomorrow morning instead – but will I actually go or will I bail?

I can usually be pretty good at motivating myself, but it seems that since I lost my training buddy back in October and then went on having a rather irregular training schedule due to holidays or illness in November and December, I’ve somehow lost my training mojo.

I don’t feel like I have put on too much holiday weight over the last 4 weeks because my virus didn’t really allow me to indulge too much, but I do feel like I have become weaker and more sluggish – something I definitely want to change!

Plus, I have so many races and fitness goals this year – things that I am genuinely excited about!

So why is it then that despite being excited, Im somehow still feeling BLAH about it all?

Any of you felt the same way or have any tips on how to get “back on it” after such a long time off? Or is it as simple as “Just do it!”? (please don’t say that…!)

It’s been around 16 days since we ran the marathon and after the incredible stress and anxiety that came with handing in my MA project, plus worrying about how I was going to cope running 26.2 miles, it felt good to have 6 days to unwind back home in Sweden, even if 3 of them were spent wobbling around with aching legs!

We were so lucky with the weather and spent most of our days outside, either wobbling around or catching up with friends and eating nice food.

It was my grandma’s birthday as well, so the day before we had to head back to London she came over for late lunch, cake and presents.

By the seaside in Malmö

By the seaside in Malmö

Views from the beach in Malmö

Views from the beach in Malmö

Selfie in mum's hallway

Selfie in mum’s hallway

Yummy hamburger at Surf Shack

Yummy hamburger at Surf Shack

Hot dog at Surf Shack

Hot dog at Surf Shack

Tasting kebab pizza with bearnaise sauce for the first time

Tasting kebab pizza with bearnaise sauce for the first time

Typical Swedish Friday night dinner at Anna's

Typical Swedish Friday night dinner at Anna’s

Swedish Pick'n'Mix

Swedish Pick’n’Mix

Granny & me on her birthday

Granny & me on her birthday

Grandma's Birthday Cake

Grandma’s Birthday Cake

Coming back to London was a bit of a buzz kill to be honest as it was so grey, cold and rainy!

As a result, the first working week back was rather depressing because the rain just wouldn’t stop and the flat was dark and gloomy.

So as a contrast to the boring week, I decided to take advantage of the fact that I didn’t have a training schedule to stick to at the weekend, which ended up in a rather spontaneous and lovely Saturday in London with lots of booze, laughs and good music.

The shard

The shard

My hottie

My hottie

An old fashioned and whiskey sour

An old fashioned and whiskey sour

The Sun Ra Arkestra at the Barbican

The Sun Ra Arkestra at the Barbican

Overall though Im starting to feel more and more restless.

The two big goals I had for this year I’ve accomplished and now Im a bit like
“…so what’s next?”.

I have many ideas, many things I would like to do and many goals I would like to achieve.

But just like I knew a year ago that I wouldn’t have been ready (mentally anyway) to run a marathon, I know now that some of the ideas and goals I have in mind are not really things I can do or achieve at the moment.

So it might be that I will take a small break in June to figure things out, do a bit of soul searching and do a bit of planning.

Some things that are definite though are that I want to do more with this blog, I want to start doing radio (or maybe podcasts?) again, and I definitely want to continue with this fitness “thing” that I have been doing for the last 2 years.

If there’s anything specific you would like to read or hear about here on the blog, or if you have any ideas of fun projects or challenges – gimme a shout!

 

 

Before I started running I always felt like I had so much on my plate, that I didn’t really have time for things like exercise or general “me time”.

Unhappy Orsii
Looking back on it, I gave up a lot of things simply because I had the mindset of “I don’t have time”, which actually wasn’t true in hindsight, but I guess it was more convenient to say that rather than having to deal with certain things.

Since I started my training again in Jan 2014 – despite sometimes not really being up for the run ahead, Ive stuck to every single session in my schedule before getting injured. When I wasn’t up for it or felt like I didn’t have time, Ive told myself that its essential “me time”, and that it’s not something I can allow myself to compromise on.

I’ve also tried to incorporate a bit of “me time” outside of running, giving myself the time to do things like painting my nails, or putting on a face mask, or just having a slightly longer shower.

Might not sound like a big deal, but I never really used to allow myself that time to kind of treat or take care of myself.

And what I have realised is that taking those 1-2 hours to run, or 20-30 min to paint my nails, or to put on a face mask actually makes me happier and more productive than just constantly sitting inside, in front of my laptop, and neglecting myself.

At first I felt a bit guilty, and the last two months of my training schedule when I’ve had so much on with my MA project, I struggled with the mindset of allowing myself to have that time.

But overall, I think it has really helped me stay more focused and to be much happier than when I’ve been in similar busy situations or periods in the past.

The more I get used to doing it, the more important I think it is to allow yourself to have that time that you spend on yourself and your well-being, WITHOUT feeling guilty or stressed about it.

It doesn’t have to be in the form of running or painting your nails, it can be whatever you want!

Orsi Heart Tee

Seeing the improvements in my fitness has also opened up my eyes for how much healthier other aspects of my life have become, and as a result, things like being able to focus on work have become better because both my mind and my body are happier.

People said training for my first marathon and finishing my final MA project would be very difficult, and it really has been! But at the same time, I think running has kept me in check and forced me to be way more disciplined and healthy during the last stages of my MA than I’ve ever been before.

So ultimately, both have been experiences that I’ve really enjoyed, and that probably wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t allow myself the time to enjoy them both.