I wish I could say that it gets easier with time, but it hurts just as much a year on

By October 15, 2014 Life

Pityu

It’s been a year since you left us and I still can’t think about you without choking up and getting a heavy heart.

Everything about last year was just so shit and your passing somehow ended up being both the worst thing that happened and the turning point for it all.

I’ve never missed you as much as I have this year…

Orsi es Pityu

I don’t think it’s because you haven’t been here, but because I’ve accomplished so many things that I would’ve loved to share with you. They would have made you so happy and so proud and I’m annoyed with myself for not being able to do them whilst you were still with us

We got the keys to the flat two weeks after you passed and I’m sad you weren’t able to see my (fantastic) handy work with doing it up, as well as the finished result (because let’s be honest, I clearly inherited those skills from you).

Marika, Orsi es Pityu

I put my heart and soul into training for that marathon in Copenhagen and even though you I’m sad that you couldn’t see me cross that finish line in person, I know you were there with me in spirit throughout that entire journey.

I did my very best with that final MA project and I know you never really understood what it was all about, but I know you would have been so proud to see me do so good against all the odds. (The one thing that they can never take away from me is my knowledge – right?)

Orsi, Marika es Pityu

I’m so sad that you never got the chance to go to my graduation and to see me dressed up in the gown and hat. I’m sorry I painted my nails black for the occasion, I know you would’ve hated it but I couldn’t resist the temptation of annoying you just a little bit, even if it was just in spirit.

I’m sad and a bit angry that I took our time together for granted and that I didn’t hug you extra tight that last time I saw you. I’ll never forget walking down those stairs in your building and looking up towards your door as you were waving us goodbye. Mum was crying because she insisted that it might be the last time I see you, and I hate that she was right!

Pityu es Orsi

I’m sad that 2014 turned out to be such a life changing year for me and that you weren’t here to experience it.

And I’m sad that you won’t be here to see and experience so many other things in my life that I would have wanted you to be part of.

Marika es Pityu

I wish I could say that it gets easier with time, but it hurts just as much a year on as it did when we went to the hospital and they told us you had passed.

Not a day goes by without me thinking of you and I hope you know that I love and miss you so so much.

Pityu, Marika, Orsi

Life and its curve balls…

By October 14, 2014 Life

Hello my friends,

I know I know, I’ve left it way too long between the updates again but life (and then a super nasty cold) got the best of me and I’ve just been too tired or too ill to do any decent posts.

Quite a lot has happened since I last wrote here and it’s just funny how life throw you curve balls out of nowhere that forces you into one direction when you think you should be going the other.

To start with some slightly sad-ish news, I missed out on some interesting opportunities at the end of September that I was a bit disappointed by (keep telling myself that it just wasn’t meant to be).

But on the flip side of that, I’ve been invited to talk at two seminars at BCU in November which I’m super excited about! One will be with the MA students on the Enterprise module and one with the BA students in Music Industries, I can’t wait!

Oh and I haven’t written about it on the blog yet but I found out at the beginning of the month that I got a London Marathon ballot place!!!! Sadly I won’t be able to accept my place for the 2015 race due to a trip to Thailand BUT I will definitely run it in 2016 which will be extra special as I turn 30 that year and ever since I started running I’ve dreamt of running this marathon before my 30th birthday.

And if that wasn’t enough good news to make up for any slightly bad ones, I also found out that my best friend Cata has been offered a new job in Amsterdam (!!!) and will be moving there very soon!

I tell you, I couldn’t be happier and more proud of her :) Apparently it’s a fantastic career opportunity for her and even though I will miss her like crazy, I really hope I’ll be able to visit her quite a bit in 2015 to discover Amsterdam a bit more and to help her plan the wedding as well.

Plus there’s potentially some other good news to share as well, but they haven’t been confirmed yet so I don’t want to jinx anything before I know for sure ;)

I’ll keep you posted!

HAPPY 9 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

By September 24, 2014 Life

9 years and two days ago I started this blog in order to have a space online where I could share my life with all my friends and family in an easy and accessible way.

9 years ago today I stepped off a plane with Cata and my mum, and moved into this shoebox of a room above in a place that very much resembled a prison/mental hospital just off Caledonian Road in North London.

During these 9 years I have…

Moved 10 times (11 if you count moving country)
Purchased 1 flat
Been awarded 2 degrees
Had 7 jobs
Been made redundant once
Had 9 boyfriends that lasted more than 3 months
3 of those I ended up living with
I have visited about 17 places in the UK (18 if you count Scotland)
And I have been to 17 countries around the world on 4 different continents
I have attended 2 weddings and 1 funeral
I have had 1 close friend getting engaged
And 1 good friend has had a baby
I have probably had around 5-6 breakdowns (give or take)
But most likely had double the triumphs
I have produced and hosted around 85 radio shows on 3 radio stations
Put together around 65 mixes for various purposes
I have completed 7 10Ks, 7 half marathons and 1 full marathon
Joined a gym 3 times but only really meant it once
Had my wallet stolen twice but only lost my keys once
I have blogged at 3-4 other places apart from my own blog
Changed the name of this blog once and the appearance 3 times
Thought about giving up blogging about twice but I could never do it

Overall it has been quite eventful and I should probably throw some sort of party next year when the blog and I celebrate 10 years in London!

 

FEVER #3

By September 22, 2014 Music, Orsi recommends, Radio

Third episode of FEVER is now available to listen back to!

The perfect soundtrack to start your week on a good note :)

I need to reboot my system!

By September 12, 2014 Fitness, Food, Life

Orsii outside St Davids

I’m not sure how we ended up in the middle of September (feels like summer was just getting started!) but I can honestly say that the last 6 weeks have taken their toll on my health.

As some of you know, I gave up running after the marathon due to my knee issues and decided to focus more on strength training by going more frequently to the gym.

The first 6 weeks were great and after introducing “Junk Free July” at home, both me and my training partner Cata were progressing nicely and seeing instant results.

Then my birthday happened in the beginning of August, followed by a 10 day trip to Sweden, that was then followed by a visit from my mum, my graduation and various trips around the UK.

Despite being pretty good at keeping up my gym routine throughout it all (going about 3 times/week) I feel like I let the diet/food side of things slip by drinking more alcohol than I should, as well as consuming a bit more “treats” than I normally do.

I guess for a “normal” person this wouldn’t necessarily be an issue, but due to my stomach issues and not having done my “twice a year” detox in June/July (since Im not allowed to exercise when I do it and I didn’t want to give up going to the gym) I am now in a position where I feel incredibly shit.

After my stomach treatment that I underwent for over a year, if I eat healthy and balanced food (within my “tolerated diet”), exercise 3-4 times a week and only drink on the weekends, I don’t have much issues with my stomach these days.

However, indulging a little bit more than usual in the last 6 weeks (for being me – I wouldn’t say I have been massively unhealthy!) has had a profound impact on me and my health – much bigger than I thought it would!

I cheated on Wednesday morning this week by having a slice of tomato and a slice of ham (which Im allergic to but for some reason I couldn’t bloody resist it – overall I only slip up about 2-3 times a year!) and it is now Friday evening and Im still severely bloated and in incredible pain (and I have been more or less constantly!).

It is crazy to think that this constant pain and bloated stomach used to be my everyday life for so many many years… At least now I have proper tools to deal with it, which means I need to totally reboot my system!

To be able to do this I have

  • ordered my 7 day detox stuff (which is bloody expensive!)
  • set up a new training routine with Cata that we will stick to until I go on holiday end of October
  • ordered some hormone free protein powder so I can up my protein intake (which Im hoping will result in eating less carbs and gaining a bit more muscle!)
  • and this weekend I am going to try to put together some meal plans for the next 6 weeks by going through various fitness and paleo recipe blogs.

Fingers crossed that it will work because I don’t think I can go back living like this – just makes me feel depressed that I am so bloated and in so much pain all the time, not fun to be around at all!