Some thoughts on body vs mind
I wasn’t born fat, but looking back on my life I would say I’ve spent around 15 years having a messed up relationship with food and exercise, which meant I wasn’t just overweight but also unhappy.
Why am I saying this?
Well, it’s because of a thought that hit me during one of my runs this year that I can’t get out of my head…
As most of you know I moved to London in 2005, the same year I started this blog, and I thought I had it all figured out. But going through the archives I can’t help but to shake my head in disagreement.
I have changed so much since 2005, not just physically but mentally too. And during my runs this year when I have been struggling the most, I’ve been trying to dig deep and discover why I’m actually training for this marathon. I mean, it’s not like I’m getting paid to do it!
First I thought it might be for the sense of accomplishment – but I quickly realised that it was just a by-product.
Then I thought ‘Maybe it’s because I will get in shape and lose weight’ – it has been one of the main reasons since I started running 2 years ago, but again, considering how much exercise goes into marathon training, getting fitter and leaner is at this point also just a by-product of it all, not a main reason.
The deeper I kept digging, the more I started to realise that this time around, I wanted to train hard and run this race because of the positive effects it will have on my future self.
Sound a bit confusing? Let me explain:
For the first time in my life I am noticing that my body isn’t changing and recovering as fast and as easy as it used to. I know it’s a fucking cliché and I could never relate to it when my mum used to complain about it when I was younger, but I finally get it now.
Trying to get back into shape this time around hasn’t been as easy as before – my body hasn’t adjusted as quick and as easy, and I can tell that I am getting older and that things are slowing down a bit.
I know I know, I am pretty young in the grand scheme of things, BUT! It really made me think about my attitude towards myself and life in general, and how my body will (most likely) gradually deteriorate with time whilst my mind will (most likely) do the opposite.
And it makes me sad that I used to take my body for granted.
I regret not treating it better and I am fascinated by the fact that when my mind wasn’t “mature enough”, my body (technically) had such great potential. And now, the more my mind develops and matures over time, the more my body will deteriorate – especially if I don’t take care of it.
So, despite the fact that this marathon training will have a lot of positive impact on my current life, my main goal with it is not to “just be able to run a marathon” and then go back to my old behaviour.
I think actually, the main goal of all of this is to stop taking my body for granted and to work towards leading a life that is filled with healthier habits, a happier mind and a stronger body.