Hello my dear friends!
After almost a week of harassing Dave to sort out the NYC pictures, he’s finally done it so I figured it was time to share this great adventure with you all! They are a combination of nice ones with Dave’s camera and slightly crappy ones made with my phone ;) I will add all the text another day as it takes ages to add all these pictures one by one.
DAY ONE:
The Adventure begins...
In the taxi going to the hostel
The view from the taxi
Settling in in our room
This was our livingroom where we stayed
And this was the livingroom from the other side of the room with the kitchen
Pretty building in Williamsburg
We went for a walk over the Williamsburg bridge
The view from the Williamsburg bridge
After a long walk & jetlag we decided to take the subway home
Desperately trying to stay awake with the help of beer
Considering how warm it was during the day, night time was pretty cold!
And the beer was not really keeping us awake...
So we decided to call it the day and go home and sleep
DAY TWO:
A sunny day perfect for exploring a big city!
Central Park & Dave in the sunshine
We walked around for a bit and played on the playground
After Central Park we decided to explore Times Square
We were pretty tired so decided to sit down in Times Square and have a rest
DAY THREE:
Not many pics from day three because we were doing our separate things and I didnt have a camera. However I did check out quite a lot of records shops that day and in the evening we went to Madison Square Garden to watch a Rangers game.
Obligatory picture of a yellow school bus
Rangers vs Colorado at Madison Square Garden
DAY FOUR:
I dragged Dave along to go record digging with me. This awesome place was called the Thing
Dave being slightly overwhelmed by all the stuff
Then I took Dave to see all the discoveries I made the previous day
We went digging for some more records
Then we went to this amazing little Bakery on Bleecker Street
We shared delicious a pumpkin and pecan cake
After a VERY LONG day of walking we stumbled upon a little place to rest called Panda
After another long day of walking we took the subway home
DAY FIVE:
Radio City Music Hall
On top of the Rockefeller Center
Empire State Building & view from top of the rock
David at the top of the rock
Central Park & view from top of the rock
Dave poking the Empire State Building
Me and the view
Rockefeller Center
An amazing little burger joint hidden in a very fancy hotel lobby
Dave at burger joint
Me drinking some milkshake
DAY SIX:
Some more Central Park
Dave enjoying some icecream in the sunshine
Me & Mr Junior at Tip Top
DAY SEVEN:
Hill Country - where they sell food by the weight! We ate so much meat!
Drinking some yummy southern cocktail
DAY EIGHT:
Last day we went for a last walk in Williamsburg
Erykah Badu on the wall in the kitchen downstairs
Last picture of me and Dave at JFK before our flight home
Right, so if you’ve missed it by any chance, I do a bi-weekly radio show on Space Invader Radio, Saturdays between 6-8pm, sharing a slot with the wonderful Hoop. This show went out the same day I flew out to New York, and I figured I would share it with you all since I have had some requests (mainly from Paul, because he is a sweetheart). You can download It Takes Two nr 3, and the tracklist is below:
1st hour:
01. Gap Mangoine – Boy With Toys
02. Gap Mangoine – Diana In The Autumn Wind
03. Raices – Parallax
04. Michael Garrick Quintet – Wedding Hymn
05. Mark Murphy – Stopping The Clock
06. Clarke-Boland Big Band – Just In Time
07. Nathan Davis – Happy Girl
08. Gene Russell – You Are The Sunshine Of My Life
09. Newban – Free Your Mind
10. The Pharaohs – Love And Happiness
11. Spanky Wilson – Kissing My Love
12. O.V. Wright – I’ve Been Searching
13. King James Version – First Time We Met
14. Linda Jones – Don’t Go (I Can’t Bear To Be Alone)
15. Jon Lucien – Lady Love
16. Mike James Kirkland – Love is What We Need
2nd hour:
17. The Younghearts – Do You Have The Time (part 1 & 2)
18. Donna McGhee – Make It Last Forever
19. Chicago Gangsters – My Ship
20. Amnesty – We Have Love
21. Rhetta Hughes – Gimme Some Of Yours
22. Marie Queenie Lyons – Try Me
23. Wess & The Airdales – High Heel Sneakers
24. High Voltage – Country Road
25. Creation – Spirit
26. Father’s Children – Music For Your Mind
27. The Brocklingtons – Pretty Thing
28. Satisfaction Unlimited – Somebody Else’s Woman
29. Junior Parker – Just To Hold My Hand
30. The Notations – It’s All Right (This Feeling)
31. Spanky Wilson – You
Morning darlings! Hope all is well today. I am so tired still. Went to bed around 21:30 but it didnt help. I woke up about 4 times throughout the night and I just couldnt get any proper rest. Soon I shall be jetting off to New York though, so hopefully I will find some inner peace there, even though its a rather hectic place. Much love xxx
Right, so some friends of mine are launching a night at Heaven, and the line-up is dope! Don’t sleep on this peeps! Get your early bird tickets now and check out the FB event page.
Good morning world! I am tired and slightly cold. But smiling nevertheless :) Feel much better now that Ive literally emptied myself out of all thats been troubling me. Fresh week fresh start. Have a happy Monday! Much love xxx
ps. Yes mum, I know I shouldnt walk out with wet hair, and yes, I might get a cold I know. But I dont have a hair dryer and the one we have is Nat’s and she is asleep or having sexy time with her boyfriend so I cant borrow it.
Evening my friends… Sorry for the lack of updates, it’s been a bit of a difficult time for me lately. I think I am depressed, or at least that I was, can’t really tell any more if I am honest.
I haven’t really been able to put what I am feeling into words, and to be honest, I kind of shied away from people.
I think it got to a point with my old job where I basically broke down without really realising it, and I just kept pushing on, making the situation worse. Then I went home to Sweden for a week, and although it was nice, it also stirred up a lot of emotions and memories, as it always does I guess. I got back to London and did my last 2 weeks and by the end of it, I literally feel apart. Then I started my new job – that I love - and tried to consume myself with more work so I could forget and ignore the fact that I was feeling horrible.
Without going into too much detail of other things that happened throughout that period, this massive void inside of me appeared again, and I just felt like no matter what I did or said, I somehow was to blame for everything that was going on. You know, the same old story – trusting people, relying on people, doing everything in my power to help but ending up with broken promises, tears, feeling like an idiot and so on. I written about it so many times that Im not going to waste time writing it again, you get the gist.
All those things combined with my own insecurities just left me absolutely shattered. I felt useless, unwanted, unloved, lonely, powerless. Then the nightmares started about 2 weeks ago leaving me sleep deprived. If that wasn’t enough, my stomach also started being more painful than usual, leaving me in constant pain all the time. I started feeling uncomfortable in people’s company, shying away from everybody, feeling like I was too ugly, too stupid, and basically just completely worthless… I just wanted to hide from the world and cry, cry and forget that I ever existed, that I ever loved, that I ever tried, because what was the point when all I could feel was all this pain inside of me.
And just when I thought I had hit rock bottom, I had a brief conversation with my friend Owen who said something that literally shook me to the core. He went:
“You dont deserve all this pain and sorrow. You are such a gem of a girl and so much more so when you smile. I love it when you do, you have the amazing ability to light up the whole room. And when I see it, everyone else sees it too and smiles back”
That’s when it dawned upon me that – FUCK! he was right! It might sound stupidly obvious, but sometimes it can be difficult to see or realise the most easiest and obvious things because you are so consumed by other more negative things and thoughts.
So I decided that I had enough. I missed that person, in fact, I was and am that person!
I always thought that my biggest problems was that I care too much. I care too much about other people and I always try to see the best in them. Even when they hurt me, when they literally rip me to pieces and kick me when I am down, I still continue to care and support and nurture and love, because that’s what friends do right? But then again, do real friends really do things like that to you? I guess that is questionable.
Either way, I realised this weekend that my problem isn’t that I care too much, or that I always try to see the best in people, because even though some people might disagree, I think those are two very remarkable and rare traits that not many people seem to possess or show nowadays, and I am actually quite proud of myself that despite being burnt and let down so many times, I havent lost or killed off those traits in me.
Because when I really look at my situation and am honest with myself, I think my two biggest problems are the fact that I take everything too personally, and that when I do care and love somebody, I want to protect and save them from anything that might hurt them.
And I simply have to learn that I cant.
I cant take things too personally because most of the time when people hurt me the problem lies with them and not me. But I always assume that it is me and blame myself and feel guilty, which is wrong, and I shouldnt.
I cant save and protect people from everything bad, because at the end of the day, no matter how much I fight for them, if they are not willing to fight for themselves, then there isn’t much I can do. So I shouldn’t take it it so damn personally and see it as a personal failure. Because let’s face it, I have enough problems of my own, and even if I don’t mind, in fact, even if I happily help and want to help people out, I shouldn’t let it get me down so much if I cant. Some people just dont want to be saved, and it is not up to me to decide that they should.
Please dont get me wrong, Im not saying that I shouldnt and wont be there for my friends and the people I love, because that is just something automatic that I will always do without even thinking about it. What I am saying is that I need to set some boundaries, learn when enough is enough, and not take it so personally. Setting boundaries is not about loving or caring less, I guess it is more a survival technique for myself (if that makes sense?)
I have so much love to give and share, but I am more and more starting to realise that life is way too short to get hung up on things that I, in theory, have no power or control over (like the lives and destinies of other people). I need to learn how to let go and have faith in the fact that it will work out in the end, for all of us, no matter what obstacles or difficulties we are facing at the moment.
Mom, if you’ve read this, please don’t be worried! I am fine, I honestly am. But you know how I am – I need to work things out for myself. So there is no need to be worried, because I am much much stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for. Yes, I do fall, and I crash and burn. But I get up again. Even if it sometimes takes a little time, I always get up on my two feet, shake it off, and carry on.
And that’s exactly what I plan to do.
Love you x
