I was sitting on the bus on my way home and this guy & girl (who didn’t know each other) were sitting in front of me. The girl was fairly attractive, and you could tell by the way she acted that she kind of knew she was. The guy next to her could not stop staring at her through out the whole journey and after a while, even I felt a bit uncomfortable. This whole scenario very randomly got me thinking about something:
WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT?
What I mean is, what do they want when it comes to the opposite sex?
I know that it is a very difficult question, because it comes down to personal taste and preferences and so many other things. So I am sure there isn’t a definite answer, but I still can’t help asking myself.
Some people may say that guys usually are pretty shallow, but in all fairness, so are women. And I have seen my share of “ugly” girls with good looking boyfriends, of course he might have found her attractive in one way or another, but it just proves that not all guys are shallow.
There is so much pressure on women nowadays, both from society and from the media, to look and act and be a certain way, and I am just questioning if men actually like these types of women. I mean, yes fair enough, we all have fantasies, but do we want our fantasies in real life too? Obviously these fantasies have no personality, so we can dream away and mould them into being just the way we want them to be. But can you or would you (try to) do that in real life?
I am just a bit conflicted, because I have a lot of male friends, and usually, the girls they fantasise about do not actually match the girls they end up having relationships with in real life. But then I guess preferences and ideals and taste change with age and with maturity as well.
I don’t know… This might have been a bit random. I am just a bit frustrated, because I don’t get it. I don’t get why we are being told that we have to look a certain way and act a certain way in order for the opposite sex like us. Especially when taste is individual. Of course, there is a “general taste”, but I get the feeling that the general taste of society is a refection of our fantasies and not reality. Or is it the whole “You want what you can’t have” scenario, where in the end, you just have to settle for what you can get?
The more I think about it, the more frustrated and angry I get.
What is it that you want?
Or maybe more importantly: do we actually know what we want?
June 9th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
It would be false of me to try to suggest that I’m not influenced in some way by the media and society in general, because we all are to varying extents, but personally I don’t feel I focus on them as much as perhaps many others do.
I do agree that we, as a society, are continually told what to like and how to be, and conforming to those engineered stereotypes is more or less part of the human condition. I think in the end it is down to the individual, but the way we things are portrayed, particularly in the media, does have a lot to answer for. Hence by using the “want what you cant have” scenario we are being sold products and a lifestyle in a carrot and stick scenario – and they want you to chase that rainbow forever, because if you ever got to the end of that rainbow you would stop chasing and the fat cats need their greenbacks! In simple terms I suppose it’s like we’re being told “you’re shit and you need this product/lifestyle to be attractive and special”. Still, this whole concept is as old as mankind!
Anyway, I’m babbling. I cant speak on behalf of all men, but I think that despite what the media tries to tell us, a lot more men than some may think don’t wish to only settle for a size zero blonde bombshell and nothing less. Sure there are plenty of shallow folk around, but I reckon most guys, deep down, would value a decent personality over supermodel looks – or maybe I’m being delusional, but I did say I couldn’t speak on behalf of all men!
June 9th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Cripes! I’m sure it’s possible someone could write a book in reply to this..
Well, I’m a bloke, but if I’m honest I doubt many chaps share the exact same taste in women. You pose so many questions here it’s difficult to know where to start..
What do men want? I’m honestly not sure this is answerable, but IMO it’s not technically what the mainstream would lead women to believe. It also differs between what stage in our lives we are, tastes definitely do change over time and what we value changes over time. So in this way perhaps we don’t actually know what we want.
I think it’s better to ask what each individual wants, though that’s not making it easier to answer.
I agree when you say mainstream stuff is geared more towards fantasy than reality. Though if I’m honest I am fairly oblivious to the pressures women are put under in image terms, other than all the weight stuff I see plastered on magazines.
I think what is fairly universal is guys are *more likely* to be into girls who are happy within themselves… this usually comes out in the way they are, not over confidence, just an inner confidence. Maybe the reason why some of those girls that weren’t technically attractive on the outside had good looking boyfriends.. but then you begin to wonder if it’s possible for the female sex to be happy when there is this pressure out there.
Anyone trying to mould someone into something they aren’t is in denial really, it’ll never work..
There I gave it a go, but probably didn’t really help!
A woman who is being herself, is way more attractive than someone who is trying to be something she isn’t. That is, if us guys aren’t being superficial about things :p
Of course I could just have said, “Beyonce”. :)
June 9th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
Women want to scrutinise and analyse things. Men want dinner and blow jobs.
Am I over simplifing?
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