Hello my lovelies,
How are we doing today? I have been absolutely exhausted this past week, so as a result, I basically slept/cuddled through the entire day yesterday. Perhaps not the most productive of days, but it felt wonderful and I feel so much better.
Some of you might have noticed/read that I wanted to start a twitter campaign to find myself a boyfriend. Yes, you might think that it sounds utterly pathetic, but I thought Id ask my twitter fam to see what people would think about it. The results of opinions were mixed, and even though quite a few said I should do it, the majority seemed to think that it wasnt the way to go… So I have been thinking about it all week long, and Im still asking myself the same question: How do you meet somebody?
I had my first boyfriend when I was about 11-12 years old. Although, that doesnt really count (in my books at least) because we were young and we didnt really hang out much apart from at school. However, if I look back on these 10-12 years of my life, especially love life, the facts are as follows:
I have had 6 relationships in my life that lasted over 3 months, and a couple that were shorter and therefore become slightly insignificant since they were not very serious, only me being stupid and young.
Out of those 6 people, 2 I initially got to know through the internet, 2 I met through school/university, 1 I met through work and 1 I met randomly when I was out.
If I look at the breakup statistics, 5/6 times I initiated the break up, although 3/6 had to do with the fact that we lived in different countries and never saw each other.
Now, if I look at my current situation, I have been single for over a year, but I have had my heart broken 2 times. I am not going to lie, these 2 cases of boys messing with my heart/head in 2009 havent really helped me in any way, and to be quite frank, they have been the main reason/s for my unhappiness last year, and a bit this year.
I know that shit happens and you cant really control who you like etc, but it never stops to surprise and annoy me how these people act and lead you on, when they know that you like them and that eventually, it will only lead to heartache and heartbreak, a least for one of us… Having that said, I am really trying to get past last years mess and have faith in the fact that I will meet somebody who wont just take the piss and genuinely will care for me, I just dont know where to bump into this person.
I know most of you say that this person will come along when I least expect it, but truth be told, I could spend years and years waiting for this person to pop up, which I dont really want to do. I am an overly busy individual, and despite the fact that I feel very lucky and happy that I get to do the things I love, it doesnt take away the feeling of loneliness. And the weird thing is, I dont see anybody talking about it either, so I dont quite know how to behave or what to do in this situation. Or is it just the case of either me being the only single person, or maybe even worse, me being the only person who is single and actually feel slightly sad and lonely? (This cant be the case… I will feel rather doomed if it is!)
So, I need help. If starting a Twitter campaign isnt the way to go, then you need to tell me what I should be doing. I mean, theoretically speaking, the music scene I am involved in is overly male dominated, but, at the same time, it is very tricky because these people are either my friends or potential work collaborators, and past events have proven that most people cant handle the business and pleasure mix, especially afterward if it doesnt work out.
My dear friend David suggested I take up a new hobby, which might be a possibility, but that will require 2 things I dont really have so much of, time and money. So what do I do? Just sit and wait and hope for the best?
January 31st, 2010 at 12:37 pm
There are plenty of great cheap hobbies out there. Like train spotting and building model airplanes.
January 31st, 2010 at 1:33 pm
I can say with a great deal of certainty, that you are not the only person who is single and actually feels slightly sad and lonely. Lots of people are, but in our culture, being single isn’t “OK” – we’re generally made to feel like something is wrong with us if we are (past a given age) and it’s just not true. Wherever we look we’re bombarded with images to make us feel like we’re incomplete if we’re not in a relationship. But from my (very limited, ha ha!) experience, if we find it impossible to be content when single, then we’ll never be happy in a relationship. I believe that we were made for relationships, which is why loneliness hurts so much, but I don’t think that just finding someone is the solution to that problem. Oh, and my personal opinion of the campaign? (For what it’s worth) I don’t think it’s neccesary.
January 31st, 2010 at 2:26 pm
You’re not the only one my sweet…
Being based in London and predominantly in the music industry is unfortunately not conducive to finding love.
I think the answer lies in finding ways to become happy on your own.
Think about it this way: You are free to do and say as you please, you don’t have to answer to anyone and you can be as selfish as you like. Yes the lonliness is quite painful sometimes but there’s a lot to be said for being able to pack up your bag and disappear for a bit, or have a moody couple of days without having to take responsibility for how it impacts your partner.
Think about what makes YOU happy and enjoy doing those things.
I’m pretty sure once you’re happy in your own skin and being on your own, you’ll radiate the confidence that attracts the kind of man you’re after.
Don’t forget you have lots of lovely friends too, which are worth a million boyfriends
If that doesn’t work for you then let’s get dolled up and go speed dating
xxx
January 31st, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I myself wouldn’t go looking on twitter but on the other hand, what do you have to loose. Just beware of all the weirdo’s
Going out just amongst girls can’t hurt either. Most men are hesitant to approach a woman when she hangs out with a group of mainly guys. Going for a classy/sexy dress also helps. Men fall for it big time.. Not that your need it, i really find you cute and attractive! Btw,everyone i know that’s single would also prefer to be in a relationship so you’re certainly not alone. I don’t know if it applies to you but a lot of people that have difficulties finding a long term partner have issues that they are not always aware of like finding it hard to open up after your heart has been broken too many times..
February 2nd, 2010 at 2:12 pm
I never knew you were single! Just send over some nice pictures and I’ll set you up
But for real. I think relationships are one of the hardest things to get right. Sex is easy, but love is a whole different ballgame. Might I also suggest moving to Amsterdam, because the guys are way cuter here.
February 3rd, 2010 at 9:16 pm
I agree with the whole hobby idea… sports/gym might be a good one to meet up people from the other sex.
About the comments that say that you should feel well being single… I find it a bit easy to say. I believe there are people that feel stronger the need to be with someone and after a long time of being single, you need to know that there are people attracted by you out there…
More personally, I’d say that being overly busy (for work reasons) is your main problem… I mean, if you don’t have time for a hobby, do you have some for a boyfriend?
February 5th, 2010 at 10:37 am
stop looking in ldn. they are all hipsters and dandies
February 15th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Don’t worry about it! The more you worry about it the more you’ll ward off potential great guys. If you stay motivated in the other areas in your life that part will come together… if not then enjoy your time to yourself and with friends/family. Trust me, there is a huge upside to being single and you should enjoy it to the fullest.
Reading your recent posts i think you should just try and not think so much. Go enjoy yourself, the culture around you and the music. Stop making things bad when I’m sure they really aren’t. Get over it and party. Hehe, hope you don’t mind the tough love!
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