By Franz Kafka
These diaries conceal the years 1910 to 1923, the yr sooner than Kafka’s demise on the age of 40. they supply a penetrating inspect existence in Prague and into Kafka’s money owed of his goals, his emotions for the daddy he worshipped and the girl he couldn't convey himself to marry, his experience of guilt, and his emotions of being an outcast. they give an account of a lifetime of nearly insufferable intensity.
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Extra resources for Diaries, 1910-1923 (The Schocken Kafka Library)
And don’t you even ask the explanation? A: i do know it. E: You do? A: You don’t just like the meals. E [stands up speedy, loud]: Do you or don’t you recognize that Kurt is leaving this night? A [inwardly undisturbed]: Why sure, regrettably he's leaving, you didn’t need to name me the following for that. 21 November. My former governess, the only with the black-and-yellow face, with the sq. nostril and a wart on her cheek which used to please me so, used to be at our apartment at the present time for the second one time lately to work out me. the 1st time I wasn’t domestic, this time i wished to be left in peace and to sleep and made them inform her i used to be out. Why did she carry me up so badly, in the end i used to be obedient, she herself is announcing so now to the cook dinner and the governess within the ante-room, i used to be stable and had a quiet disposition. Why didn’t she use this to my virtue and get ready a greater destiny for me? She is a married lady or a widow, has little ones, has a full of life means of conversing that doesn’t allow me sleep, thinks i'm a tall, fit gentleman on the appealing age of twenty-eight who loves to have in mind his early life and in most cases is familiar with what to do with himself. Now, notwithstanding, I lie the following at the couch, kicked out of the area, looking ahead to the sleep that refuses to come back and may simply graze me while it does, my joints pain with fatigue, my dried-up physique trembles towards its personal destruction in turmoils of which I dare now not develop into absolutely wakeful, in my head are marvelous convulsions. And there stand the 3 girls prior to my door, one praises me as i used to be, as i'm. The prepare dinner says I shall cross instantly – she skill with none detour – to heaven. This it might be. Löwy: A rabbi within the Talmud made it a precept, thus very interesting to God, to just accept not anything, now not even a tumbler of water, from somebody. Now it occurred, although, that the best rabbi of his time desired to make his acquaintance and for this reason invited him to a meal. To refuse the invitation of this kind of guy, that was once most unlikely. the 1st rabbi for this reason set out unfortunately on his trip. yet simply because his precept used to be so robust, a mountain raised itself up among the 2 rabbis. [ANNA sits on the desk, interpreting the paper. KARL walks around the room, while he involves the window he stops and appears out, as soon as he even opens the internal window. ] ANNA: Please depart the window closed, it’s fairly freezing. KARL [closes the window]: good, we have now various things to fret approximately. (22 November) ANNA: No, yet you could have constructed a brand new behavior, Emil, one that’s rather terrible. you know the way to capture carry of each trifle and use it to discover anything undesirable in me. KARL [rubs his fingers]: since you haven't any attention, simply because usually you're incomprehensible. it really is convinced significant drawback to my development is my actual . not anything will be entire with this type of physique. I shall need to get used to its perpetual balking. a result of previous few nights spent in wild goals yet with scarcely a number of snatches of sleep, i used to be so incoherent this morning, felt not anything yet my brow, observed a midway bearable purely some distance past my current one, and in sheer readiness to die may were blissful just to have curled up in a ball at the cement ground of the hall with the files in my hand.